We all know the feeling of doing something which seems wrong, but nevertheless we still do it. We all sometimes crave for one more piece of cake, even though we have eaten more than enough….It can also be the cigarettes that some of us wish to smoke, when we consciously know that it is bad for our health. Worries are another example of bad habits, since they cause us a lot of tension and anxiety and 99% of the things we worry about, never come true. So how can we overcome our bad habits?
Well, our first instinct, is to fight the habit. This is exactly the reason, why most times we try to overcome a habit, it comes back. We give so much energy for rejecting the habit, that it just empowers it. In order to leave a habit behind, you need to just let it go. When you face your current situation with courage and look at your bad habits directly – you see that you are only human and it’s normal. After facing the habits and not denying them, you should try to get rid of them by being more compassionate towards yourself. Instead of beating yourself for doing what you do, you need to give more love and compassion to yourself – this is the key for moving forward. How can you do that?
Start by being a good friend to yourself. Yes…Your relationship with yourself, are probably the most intense one you ever had. Nevertheless, we only sometimes stop and think, if we are being kind enough to ourselves. It seems that we feel comfortable to say terrible things to ourselves, that had we said them in public, we probably won’t had any friends left. When we go to eat another piece of chocolate cake, we might beat ourselves afterwards and say things like ‘I can’t believe I did it, I’m already fat and now I am getting even fatter…I am so irresponsible… maybe there is something wrong with me… etc’. Had we say things like that to the people we know, we won’t had any friends left. It seems that we feel comfortable enough with ourselves for not being kind enough. The key for leaving the bad habits behind, is to realize that this attitude only gives more strength to the habit. When you love yourself, you don’t want to do bad things for yourself. When you give more love to yourself, you don’t wish to fill yourself with another piece of cake or another cigarette. When there is someone you love, you make your best to take care of him – you don’t stuck another cigarette to his mouth, you don’t fill his mind with endless worries, etc… You need to treat yourself like you treat the ones you love – When you will act this way, the bad habit will vanish.
For conclusion, try to be a bit more compassionate towards yourself. You might be overweight at the moment, you might smoke a lot or worry to much. But, the main issue is that you still deserve love and compassion and this is the key for change in your life. It reminds me of a nice metaphor – Once the sun and the wind argued who can cause a person to take off his coat. The wind said, it can do it for sure and it started to blow. The wind blew as hard as it can, but the man just kept holding his coat harder and harder. After all it’s efforts, the wind gave up. Finally, the sun came out, showed it sunny rays and the man instantly removed his coat.